Pagespeed Insights is making no sense

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How does it figure that I have a TTFB of 12 seconds on desktop and 1.3 on slow 4G mobile? Makes absolutely no sense at all when at Slow 4G throttling it's fully loaded in 2 seconds. And by god they really did gimp the F out of the 4g throttling...

Code:

Network throttling: 150 ms TCP RTT, 1,638.4 kb/s throughput (Simulated)
Browser location: North America

So for desktop, it is "fully loaded" in 1 second flat (on their test) but yet supposedly has a TTFB of 12 seconds? How is that...

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Pagespeed Insights is making no sense

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